Kinky Talk: Between Responsibility, Curiosity and Real Freedom – My Playrooms in Conversation with SM Only

In this interview, Lena, Social Media Manager at My Playrooms, and Dennis from SM Only discuss topics such as BDSM, community spirit, and the importance of safe, discreet spaces. Lena introduces the concept of My Playrooms – a booking platform for BDSM and fetish rooms – and Dennis shares his diverse activities as an entrepreneur and author in the BDSM scene. Together, they shed light on typical prejudices, dispel common clichés, and talk about how important it is for both beginners and experienced BDSM enthusiasts to find suitable places to live out their desires without shame. The conversation also covers Dennis’s experiences at trade fairs, writing his BDSM guides, his podcasts and video productions, as well as the opportunities and challenges arising from his work.

Lena (My Playrooms): Great that we could make this happen today! Let’s get started. I’ll introduce myself briefly: I work for My Playrooms, a booking website for BDSM and fetish rooms. We want to create more transparency and visibility for newcomers and interested people, and we’re interviewing some well-known faces from the scene. You’re of course very well known. Would you like to introduce yourself?

Dennis (SM Only): Sure, with pleasure. I’m Dennis Riegel. My main business is SM Only – you can see it on the banner behind me – and I also run Only Shoes. I do video productions, have a podcast, have written two books, give workshops, and I’m everywhere the BDSM and erotic scene gathers.

Dennis’s Books and the Reactions

Lena: Very interesting. You’ve written two books. What are their titles and what are they about?

Dennis: My books are called BDSM Guide for Women and BDSM Guide for Couples. The feedback, as is often the case in the scene, is mixed. Many beginners found them very helpful because they provide orientation and inspiration. But of course, there’s also criticism from so-called “Super-Doms” who claim only their own BDSM style is the right one. Some even accuse me of trying to jump on the “Fifty Shades of Grey” hype – which is a bit absurd given the price of €1.99 as an e-book or €5 as a print. For me, the books were primarily intended as an entry aid for BDSM newcomers. One important point: There is no manual for BDSM, because everyone develops and lives out their own desires. I try to make that clear in the books. I don’t give rigid instructions, but rather encourage individual discovery. Finding your own BDSM – that’s what matters.

Lena: Yes, I agree. If you try to do everything by some script, it can quickly feel constricting. If you let yourself be inspired and see where it leads, it can be very liberating. Your approach of not giving fixed step-by-step instructions makes sense.

Dennis: Exactly. And in some parts of the scene, you unfortunately get the feeling there’s a big BDSM bible where everything is supposedly written down: “You have to kneel here, now you have to use the cane there, etc.” Sometimes people have physical limitations and can’t kneel, for example. So why stick rigidly to such rules? Everyone has to find what fits their own sexuality, instead of working through someone else’s fantasy.

Getting Started and Prejudices

Lena: I find that very helpful and I know these scene prejudices too. For example, it’s said you can’t do BDSM with younger people, you absolutely need a Dom who’s 20 years older and experienced. But you older folks started at some point too – you weren’t born as 50-year-old Doms!

Dennis: You’re touching on an important topic. When I entered the scene at 18 or 19, most women said they were only looking for “mature and experienced.” As a young Dom, you hardly had a chance. Now I’m a bit over 40, and today there are other problems: Many women my age have established lives with family or commitments. There’s often no room for a 24/7 concept or more intense play relationships. I also see another development: Young women who might be interested are sometimes not taken seriously by “older” people – dismissed as “too green.” That’s a shame, because BDSM often means being open to new things. I think you shouldn’t patronize people. Everyone has the right to find out what they like.

Lena: I agree. You often have to take a lot of responsibility and know yourself well. Responsibility is very important to you.

Dennis: Yes, absolutely. As a Dom, responsibility is always part of it. You should be approachable, be there for the submissive partner, and provide emotional support if doubts arise. Especially after a session, someone can fall into a psychological hole. Practicing BDSM responsibly means giving support – not just by phone, but really being there, giving a hug, calming them down.

Dennis’s Books from a Reader’s Perspective

Lena: Speaking of support: I read your BDSM Guide for Women. As a beginner, I found it very helpful, especially the part about how to even start a session when you’re just sitting on the sofa watching Netflix. You give really helpful inspiration. That’s ideal for the target group you wanted to reach.

Dennis: Thank you, I’m glad. That was exactly the idea – not just to provide theory, but also to show easy ways to get started, where you can express yourself freely. You shouldn’t let clichés or shame hold you back from exploring your own sexuality.

Sexuality and Society

Lena: We recently had a conversation about how men and women are judged differently in our society: If a woman has several sexual partners, she’s quickly labeled “__”; for men, it’s “Wow, you stud.” That keeps many women from living out their sexuality more freely.

Dennis: True. Anatomically, women can often experience more pleasure, even multiple times in a row. Many have never learned to explore themselves and may only have their first orgasm at the end of their 30s or 40s – after two children. That’s actually shocking and shows what society and upbringing can suppress.

Dennis’s Podcast and Its Origins

Lena: You also have a podcast, right? I personally find it very interesting. How did you come up with it and how many episodes are there now?

Dennis: The podcast is called SM only – Klärt auf (or simply: SM only). It should be around the 34th or 35th episode now. It started during the Corona period out of boredom. I deliberately do it without much production effort, more amateur style. It’s kind of an “audio book on BDSM,” sometimes a monologue, sometimes an interview. I see it as an extra benefit for people who want to learn more.

Dennis at Trade Fairs and Festivals

Lena: Let’s talk about your trade fairs. What exactly do you sell there?

Dennis: I’ve been selling erotic products at trade fairs since 2011, initially with imported goods, later mainly my own BDSM products. I also offer a large shoe business, the “Only Shoes Store.” Besides high heels (sometimes up to size 48!), I have everything in the BDSM area: from floggers to paddles to various whips. I’m also at big festivals like Wacken or M’era Luna. It’s a lot of work in terms of logistics and setup. Sometimes the weather is bad or fewer visitors come than expected – then you’re left with high costs. But I love the direct contact with customers.

Lena: Yes, I imagine it’s difficult, especially the long distances between events. And then unexpected things like bad weather happen. But you can tell you’re passionate about it.

Sales and Advice

Lena: I personally don’t order BDSM items online anymore because you’re often disappointed. At trade fairs, you can touch things, try them out, and get advice.

Dennis: Absolutely, that’s important to me too. At my booth, you can have things explained and shown. There’s no general “right” or “wrong,” but you should know, for example, how to hold a whip properly or assess whether it’s cutting, burning, or dull-thudding. Everyone is different, so trying things out is valuable. Pain is perceived differently, and some whips or floggers aren’t as painful as they look. Others are much more intense than you’d expect.

Video Productions and Booking Rooms

Lena: You also mentioned video productions. Do you have your own rooms for that or do you book them?

Dennis: Since I work a lot with amateur performers, I usually rent external rooms. A normal hotel room can be difficult when things get loud – if someone screams gagged, the reception might call. So I prefer to book a proper playroom. It’s often even cheaper, has the equipment on site, and nobody is bothered by BDSM activities.

Lena: That brings us to My Playrooms. We offer exactly this platform where you can easily find and book BDSM and fetish rooms. How was it for you before we existed?

Dennis: I had to laboriously google “Playroom NRW” or “SM Apartment Berlin,” etc. It takes forever, you don’t know the availability, you have to ask … With My Playrooms, everything is in one portal. I can compare prices and pictures directly and above all: I know you know the rooms and list them seriously. That makes things much easier.

Unpleasant Experiences with Rooms and Quality Assurance

Lena: Have you ever had negative experiences with rooms?

Dennis: Yes, just like in hotels. You see great photos, arrive and think: “Oh God, there’s still hair in the shower.” Or the equipment isn’t as described. A dirty mattress, hardly any play options. Unfortunately, that happens because you can photograph a lot nicely, but reality is disappointing.

Lena: That’s exactly why we at My Playrooms make sure to have personal contact with many hosts. Sometimes we inspect the rooms on site, do quality checks, and make sure that interested parties can immediately see what’s really offered in the portal.

Hourly and Daily Bookings – and the Service of My Playrooms

Dennis: With you, room providers can even offer hourly bookings, which other platforms often don’t cover. That’s very practical for BDSM.

Lena: Exactly. We’re flexible. Whether two hours or a whole night – it should be individually selectable. And we have direct support for hosts: if someone wants to add more booking options or sell extras, we program it. We also promote the rooms on our social media channels so potential users can find them. For this, we only keep a 5% commission.

Dennis: 5% is extremely fair, especially since hosts don’t have monthly fixed costs. It’s not a subscription, but based on success. If bookings come in via My Playrooms, you benefit – and if not, you pay nothing. Plus, you have a German contact person. That’s a real unique selling point compared to big portals that only refer customers to endless hotlines.

Diversity in Rooms and BDSM Practices

Dennis: What I also think is great: You can book all kinds of rooms in different styles. Some want the luxurious “Shades of Grey” style, others need the dark cellar to really immerse themselves. Everyone finds the atmosphere that appeals to them, and that’s especially great for beginners.

Lena: Exactly, and you don’t have to be a hardcore BDSM practitioner to use such a location. Vanilla couples also have fun on a sex swing, can try something new. Or if someone is young and can’t go to their own or their partner’s place, a playroom is a great way for undisturbed pleasure. For couples, it’s often an experience to consciously step out of everyday life.

Dennis: Absolutely. I recommend the same principle in my books: Sometimes a change of location helps break the routine. A grab to the neck when both are still lounging on the sofa can work, but a new setting often increases the excitement.

Recommended Trade Fairs

Lena: Let’s briefly talk about trade fairs. Are there any you’d recommend?

Dennis: Yes, “Passion” and “Obscene” are very well-known and large BDSM and fetish fairs. They offer lots of shows and workshops. If you prefer something smaller, you can go to “BoundCon” or “Professional” (Profo), which are more cozy and manageable and where you have more time for conversations. It’s always important for visitors not to be overwhelmed by all the impressions – you see a lot you might never want to try. But it’s a great source of inspiration.

Conclusion

Lena: Great, Dennis, that was a really exciting conversation. You’re a very versatile person and contribute a lot to the scene. Thank you for your time!

Dennis: Thank you, I enjoyed it too. We’ll definitely talk again. And for everyone who’s curious, check out My Playrooms. You’ll definitely find suitable rooms – whether you’re a beginner or advanced.

Lena: Perfect. See you soon!

Dennis: See you, bye!